Hot Butt Man

Southerners in the US often say, I’m American by birth and Southern by the grace of God. My dad was in the Navy for 20 years and we moved around every 2 years. So I was born in Portsmouth, Virginia and then lived in San Jose and Long Beach California, then Midway Island near Hawaii where the battle of Midway was fought, then Meridian Mississippi and finally Nashville, TN. So many people, cannot tell where I’m from, from the way I speak. Northerners ask me “Where are you from?” and Southerners ask me “Where are you from?”

My mom and dad were graduates of East High school on Gallatin Rd. in Nashville and when he retired from the Navy, we went home. I went to Hillwood and Bellevue high schools and and then earned college degrees at Belmont University and Tennessee State University. As an adult, I moved to Atlanta and Florida for jobs and now, I live in Alabama. So regardless of my voice and language, my people are southern, my roots are southern, my values are southern, my heart is southern. I am southern. I love southern people.

When we moved to the south, I remember learning about the Confederate flag. I saw them on flag poles, t-shirts and in the back of pick-up trucks. I learned about the controversy surrounding them. A southerner would say, “my granddaddy fought for the South and I’m proud of him. It’s part of my heritage. A person of color would say, “the flag represents such injustice and death for my family that it is extremely painful for me to see it displayed.” So I considered these discussions over time. I thought, it’s really just a flag after all, a simple piece of fabric, and it means so much to some Southern families. Is it really that big a deal?

Now this is where hot butt man comes into the story. My good buddy and I were at a home improvement store. She was interested in all-terrain vehicles and we were standing in front of the store looking at one - it was camouflage “color” - we were in Alabama for goodness sake - what other color would it be. As we looked at them, a big burly man in a sleeveless t-shirt exited the store and headed to the cars with his shopping cart. Just as he reached the cars, he turned around toward the store and headed toward us.

He walked up and he asked, “Are you ladies looking at those?” indicating the ATVs , which I had learned, were All Terrain Vehicles, we were standing by. I said, “she is” and motioned to my friend. Then he said, well, I’m going to have to tell you that you’re going to get hot butt with that one. I bought one like it and it gave me hot butt. The engine is in the middle and it heats it up and gives you hot butt. He paused for a second and then added, “and my wife is a little woman and she got hot butt too. I had to take it back and get a different one.” We thanked him and he move back toward the parking lot.

After that, somewhere along the way, I realized that this experience always made me smile, but it also settled the question of the confederate flag for me. Hot butt man took some of the precious moments of his day to help two women that he didn’t know and would likely never see again. He had nothing to gain, except that he had helped someone else. He did it because it was the right thing to do. I realized that the flag is not our southern heritage. Hot butt man is our southern heritage.

I realized that my southern heritage is my mom making me apologize to a store owner when I stole a piece of candy as a kid, my dad forcing me to learn how to fix the brakes on the car. It’s Dolly Parton and her coat of many colors, love is like a butterfly and Jolene. It’s singing Freebird with flames lighting up the night. Apple pie at the pot luck dinner on Sunday afternoon where most dishes are made with a stick of butter and cup of sugar. It’s actually using your hands and your mind to get something done. I’ve fixed my radiator, water pump and alternator, by reading the car manual sitting on the edge of the engine. I’ve laid pex pipe for my plumbing and dug a trench for my electrical wiring. I’ve sat with a loved one in the hospital overnight, just to make sure they were well-cared for. I’ve helped another person see their goodness, their light and their magnificence. This is my southern heritage.

Mark Twain said, the two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. I say, that the third most important day is the day you decide and begin to live out the purposes for which you were born. To let your light provide grace to our world. We were meant to enjoy life - the music, food and people around us. We came over on boats - a nation of immigrants, rebels, idealists, risk-takers and get-shit-done folks.

Our southern heritage is that we were meant to make the world a better place -like hot butt man. Our southern heritage is that we look at ourselves and change if something isn’t working for us or our people. We are being told, by our darker-skinned brothers and sisters that the confederate flag does not work for them. It is painful for them to see. It feels hateful or love-less to them based on our history. Our southern heritage is a path of love. It is empathetically hearing the cries of those around us and helping to change things for them. It is not a flag or a piece of fabric. It is a future of peace, not the past of violence and hate. It’s time that we honor our true southern heritage and light up the world with it.